• Title: Lolita
• Author: Vladimir Nabokov
• Genre: Classic
• Pages: 317
• Publisher: Vintage International
• Published: 1955 (first publication), 1989 (50th edition)

There was no rhyme or reason for my reading this book. It was very superficial really – I wanted to be able to say “I read it”. I guess you can say that I was just curious as to what it is really. This was not the first time I picked this book up. I tried to read this novel a few years ago but I couldn’t shake off the fact that the novel was in the POV of a very very unreliable narrator. I remember deciding that I couldn’t go through with it and put the book back on my shelf. However, after watching a few videos on this book recently, I got the itch to give it a second try. I knew and I understood that I would need to keep an open mind reading the text. Not going to lie, I had to prep my brain a little bit so that I could actually dive into the story.

Let’s talk about the writing first. This was a well-written book. The prose was beautiful. The novel was very accessible. Sure, there were unfamiliar words that I had to look up but I didn’t mind that one bit. The writing had texture for sure. There were phrases in French, some in Latin. Nabokov had a way to just draw you in. However, the phrases that gave the writing texture also were the ones that disturbed the reading experience for me. To quote Dolores or Lolita, “…do you mind very much cutting out the French? It annoys everybody”. I laughed when I read that specific line. Because at that point in the book, I was tired of typing these phrases to a translator. And yes, I was complaining that it took me out of the story so often that it got so exhausting at times. Regardless, Nabokov managed to capture and tantalize me. The author placed me, as a reader, as part of the jury to pass judgment on Humbert Humbert.

The subject matter is definitely controversial. I feel like Nabokov thought, “I want to write a novel about obsession and possession and maybe love but in the most controversial way”. And here we are! Look, there is no question about the legality of the sexual relations between an adult and a minor. In this case, between a 37-year-old man and a 12-year-old girl. No questions about it. Even Humbert Humbert himself knew his desire for this kid was illegal. If the narrator was charged with this offense, there would be no legal defense for him. It does not exist. Regardless if Lolita seduced Humbert. Regardless if Lolita gave her consent. Those would be irrelevant. Because Lolita being 12 years old trumps everything else.

The novel chronicled the seduction, the grooming, the consummation, and the downfall of Humbert’s relationship with Lolita which led to a crime that he was on trial for. This novel was his confession to that crime. It was a legal document, a formal written document. A witness statement told in Humbert’s POV. As a reader, as part of the jury, it was clear that he was guilty of the crime. However, the novel/confession also detailed a crime that he was not charged with. Not sure how that would work in court or the legal system, but it made me “listen” and observe something that is considered illegal and offensive. And that was the chunk of this book. The crime that Humbert was on trial for was only discussed in the foreword and the last chapters of the book. The rest was a detail of a totally different crime that was used to explain his motive. Regardless of how immoral, how narcissistic, how selfish, Humbert told his truth and his reality. This confession was made to make the jury understand why he did what he did.

Anyway, this was a ride. It was difficult for me to read at times. I would lie if I said that some parts did not trigger my anxiety. Because it did. I knew for a fact that I had notes in there saying that Humbert Humbert was a dirty old man – gross. And I was meant to feel that way. However, I was also forced to look at this as a true confession of his reality. His shame. Humbert was pretty aware that his obsession, or dare I say it, love with Lolita was illegal. He knew it. And he was sharing this shameful thing as a context to a crime that he committed, the crime that he was being judged on. Regardless of how thought-provoking this novel is, regardless of how beautifully it was written, I really don’t think a reader is missing anything if he/she has not read this work. This book is not for everyone. I know there are a number of people who actually really loved this book and reread it from time to time. I personally would not read it again. I think once was enough for me to say “Yeah, I read Lolita”.