• Title: Don’t Call It a Cult: The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM
• Author: Sarah Berman
• Genre: Nonfiction, Cults
• Pages: 336
• Publisher: Steerforth
• Published: 2021

I was in a True Crime kick. Well, not necessarily true crime, but I am getting into occults and cults in general. I have been obsessed with them. One thing that drew me into this self-help cult in particular is the fact that members were there by choice. These people were recruited and stayed. And I wanted to understand more of the psychology of it.

For those who don’t know, NXIVM was a multi-level marketing self-help organization. Well, it started that way. And on paper, the organization seemed to be helping people. Well, rich people. The 5-day ESP course was like 6K if I recall correctly. So yeah, definitely not for regular people like me who live paycheck-to-paycheck. In my head, I thought, yeah, rich people with too much money to spend. But you know what, I don’t blame them. Who does not want to better themselves? Who does not want to face life as the better version of themselves? Who can say no to progress and overcoming self-restrictions with just a five-day class compared to how many years of therapy?

It was definitely tempting. Enticing. And seems like for some people, the programs offered by this organization helped them. And really, who am I to diminish their good experiences being in that community? However, this book gave me an inside view of what was really happening inside the organization. I mean, the organization sounded progressive on paper, I mean, the leader definitely capitalized on women’s empowerment.

It all came down to how predatory the organization really was. From the structure. Promising their recruits that they could potentially start earning money by going up stripe path. And promotions were based on recruitment and continuing to take X amount of classes. I mean, seriously. Before anyone could earn money, you had to shed more money. Like I said, this organization was really for rich people.

From what I read, and all the documentaries I watched regarding this group, the people who stayed were broken down, and then love-bombed to let those people know that they accept their flaws as well. The organization made them believe that this was the only place that could make them better versions of themselves. And that was crazy! From the unsanctioned medical experiments, from manipulation via NLP, and then using the power of suggestion. Yeah, it was a trip reading and listening to testimonials from former members.

The real slap on the face though was the organization’s subgroup called Jness. They marketed it as the only women’s empowerment group created by a man. Trust me, I rolled my eyes at that. And reading up on it and watching the documentaries, all I could think of was “You guys actually had this leader mansplain how to be a woman”. This was also a way for the leader, Raniere, to pick and choose who would be recruited to DOS. His sex cult. According to some testimonials, not all the 100+ members of this “sorority” had sex with Raniere, but there were a select few hand-picked by this man, to be groomed to have sex with him in the guise of “healing”. When I read how he explained sex and how he used it for spiritual and energy transference, I almost threw my tablet across my bedroom. Because of the ridiculousness of it. I am not blaming the women at this point, because the women who fell for this kind of BS had been broken and indoctrinated already. Some of them were groomed to accept it. DOS was really Raniere’s fantasy of building his sex dungeon, which he liked to call a “dorm”, with some number of carefully selected young women slaves.

Of course, like any perverted cult leader, grooming teenage girls, especially the sisters, was not a surprise. Counting calories and sleep deprivation were disguised as building character and discipline, which apparently are two characteristics that women lack. According to a man. Like I said, this leader mansplained being a woman to women. Don’t even get me started on their views on victimhood and abuse. And the fact that this was taught in ESP classes. I just cannot. Well, you know, it really made me want to punch this leader repeatedly in the face.

I have so many thoughts on this cult. And it makes my blood boil. The book really did help me understand some of the psychology. It made me understand why it became a huge organization for years. I understood why some people joined and stayed. And to the people who defected, they said that once they stopped drinking the Cool Aid, then that was when all the red flags glared at them. I know a lot of people would say “I would never be sucked into a cult like this”. And to me, after reading the book and watching the documentaries, I could not think this way. The people who were sucked into this organization were not stupid. These were and are accomplished individuals who got exploited by a leader who knew how to use their weaknesses to keep them in the organization. These people just wanted to be better. To feel better. To understand themselves. I mean, honestly, and I hate to say it, if I was approached by one of these recruiters (women recruiters) when I was in my early 20s, yeah, who knew what would’ve happened? Well, nothing. Cause I didn’t have $$$ to pay for the classes. But if I had some kind of disposable income back then and I got approached, yeah, maybe. Like I said, the organization was really good on paper. Again, someone like me, who would always find a way to learn more and understand more, yeah, I would’ve at least attended a 5 day intensive. Now that was a scary realization.