Like The Tomato
Nothing here but my musings about daily life, books, anime, and food.
- Title: Lolita
- Author: Vladimir Nabokov
- Genre: Classic
- Pages: 317
- Publisher: Vintage International
- Published: 1955 (first publication), 1989 (50th edition)
There was no rhyme or reason for my reading this book. It was very superficial really – I wanted to be able to say “I read it”. I guess you can say that I was just curious as to what it is really. This was not the first time I picked this book up. I tried to read this novel a few years ago but I couldn’t shake off the fact that the novel was in the POV of a very very unreliable narrator. I remember deciding that I couldn’t go through with it and put the book back on my shelf. However, after watching a few videos on this book recently, I got the itch to give it a second try. I knew and I understood that I would need to keep an open mind reading the text. Not going to lie, I had to prep my brain a little bit so that I could actually dive into the story.
Let’s talk about the writing first. This was a well-written book. The prose was beautiful. The novel was very accessible. Sure, there were unfamiliar words that I had to look up but I didn’t mind that one bit. The writing had texture for sure. There were phrases in French, some in Latin. Nabokov had a way to just draw you in. However, the phrases that gave the writing texture also were the ones that disturbed the reading experience for me. To quote Dolores or Lolita, “…do you mind very much cutting out the French? It annoys everybody”. I laughed when I read that specific line. Because at that point in the book, I was tired of typing these phrases to a translator. And yes, I was complaining that it took me out of the story so often that it got so exhausting at times. Regardless, Nabokov managed to capture and tantalize me. The author placed me, as a reader, as part of the jury to pass judgment on Humbert Humbert.
The subject matter is definitely controversial. I feel like Nabokov thought, “I want to write a novel about obsession and possession and maybe love but in the most controversial way”. And here we are! Look, there is no question about the legality of the sexual relations between an adult and a minor. In this case, between a 37-year-old man and a 12-year-old girl. No questions about it. Even Humbert Humbert himself knew his desire for this kid was illegal. If the narrator was charged with this offense, there would be no legal defense for him. It does not exist. Regardless if Lolita seduced Humbert. Regardless if Lolita gave her consent. Those would be irrelevant. Because Lolita being 12 years old trumps everything else.
The novel chronicled the seduction, the grooming, the consummation, and the downfall of Humbert’s relationship with Lolita which led to a crime that he was on trial for. This novel was his confession to that crime. It was a legal document, a formal written document. A witness statement told in Humbert’s POV. As a reader, as part of the jury, it was clear that he was guilty of the crime. However, the novel/confession also detailed a crime that he was not charged with. Not sure how that would work in court or the legal system, but it made me “listen” and observe something that is considered illegal and offensive. And that was the chunk of this book. The crime that Humbert was on trial for was only discussed in the foreword and the last chapters of the book. The rest was a detail of a totally different crime that was used to explain his motive. Regardless of how immoral, how narcissistic, how selfish, Humbert told his truth and his reality. This confession was made to make the jury understand why he did what he did.
Anyway, this was a ride. It was difficult for me to read at times. I would lie if I said that some parts did not trigger my anxiety. Because it did. I knew for a fact that I had notes in there saying that Humbert Humbert was a dirty old man – gross. And I was meant to feel that way. However, I was also forced to look at this as a true confession of his reality. His shame. Humbert was pretty aware that his obsession, or dare I say it, love with Lolita was illegal. He knew it. And he was sharing this shameful thing as a context to a crime that he committed, the crime that he was being judged on. Regardless of how thought-provoking this novel is, regardless of how beautifully it was written, I really don’t think a reader is missing anything if he/she has not read this work. This book is not for everyone. I know there are a number of people who actually really loved this book and reread it from time to time. I personally would not read it again. I think once was enough for me to say “Yeah, I read Lolita”.
I swear. I am so tired of being tired. Of being exhausted all of the goddamn time. I have no excuse why I feel this way. But the struggle to stay awake on a daily basis is getting more and more difficult. Despite drinking coffee – sometimes a few times a day. Despite having some decent sleep the night before. I often find myself wanting to just sleep all day. Not that I do though. I fight the urge to do it every single time. It just gets tiring.
I was able to hang out with my man recently. It was nice. It has been a good while since we were able to actually sit in front of the computer, video call, and actually watch some shows together. I mean, it was my fault really. I was having some mental health issues for a bit and I still am, but at least now, I have the motivation to do some things aside from isolating myself.
Twisted Metal. I guess this was based on a video game of the same name. I mean, I am not familiar with the game, I am not a gamer, whatsoever. Which is good. I have nothing to compare this to. Not that I compare adaptations to their original source material anyway. Anyway, so far so good. Enjoying it. There were some good laughs for sure. Anthony Mackie as John Doe was funny and engaging in the few episodes that we watched. Sweet Tooth was an instant favorite. Agent Stone was also doing a good job of being the main villain. I mean, I was definitely annoyed by him so he is doing his job. And my partner and I think that Quiet’s inclusion in this story is debatable. We both think that she is not needed. But I don’t know, maybe the character would be redeemed in the later episodes? Who knows.
Ghosts. This show has been on my watchlist for a bit so it was nice to finally watch it. So far, the show is funny. It’s a trip. We are enjoying it for sure. Love the ghosts, Thor or Thorfinn being the instant favorite. All in all, the show is fun and we will continue on. It would be nice to see the progression of how things go with the couple in this mansion living with ghosts as they renovate the place to be a bed and breakfast.
Tomodachi Game. Not going to lie, I was a bit hesitant to start a new anime since we are still working on three of them. Granted that we haven’t watched anything in weeks, I feel like I need a palate cleanser from the three anime (Naruto, Bungo Stray Dogs, Parasyte). A break if you will. And it seems like my hun really wants me to watch this anime. So we checked out a couple of episodes last night. It’s interesting for sure. I like the intrigue and I like an anime where the protagonist is thrown into something or somewhere and to figure out how to survive. Well, this is not a survival game but it does have the premise of beating the game to clear out something (in this case, debt). In the first two episodes, we see the friend group already questioning their friendship and it seems like it’s up to Yuichi to find out who the traitor is. I like the intrigue of the anime. I am enjoying the power of deduction and finding the culprit premise. We will continue on.
No big plans today. Just having a girls’ night in with Chris. And possibly read a bit. I was not able to read a lot yesterday – remember, I was fighting off sleep all of the time? So I kind of want to make a dent in Heaven Official’s Blessing Volume 3.
The weekend is just way too short. However, I really shouldn’t talk. I am in a “it’s the weekend every day” kind of state in life. So at the moment, the days of the week have no bearing on me at the moment. It’s honestly a surprise that I can still tell the days of the week at this point. It should’ve been jumbled in my brain by now.
Anyway, as planned, I finally finished reading Craig & Fred last Friday. And that book was just so heartwarming. Granted, I was on such an emotional roller coaster while reading the book, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I loved it really. I already put the second book by this author on my shopping list. I want to continue reading about him and Fred. I also finished book 6 of Haven City and just started book 7. It was okay. It took a while for me to get into the story. But I was glad that I was able to get into the flow of it this weekend. Not that the story was bad. I think I just preferred the previous characters and conflicts to the ones featured in Dragon & Flame. It was all good. I still enjoyed it enough.
I’ve been watching a lot of reading vlogs. I found a new booktuber (Jan Agaton) and I pretty much consumed her vlogs nonstop. The only thing that I have not watched are her recorded live streams. Maybe this week. Not sure yet. I’ll get to them for sure.
I also decided to take a break from morning pages. It did it for a couple of months. Cause at this point in time, I feel like it has turned into more of a chore. So I need to step away from it for now. I will go back to it. Just taking a little bit of a break. I did feel some positive effects from it. Mainly clarity to be honest. Especially the first 30 days that I was doing the exercise. But lately, I found myself constantly struggling to wake up and to find the energy to write a 3-page entry.
I’ve also been experiencing some major allergic reactions because of the changing season. It was not pretty. Of course, allergic reactions led to some anxiety attacks. I was having issues sleeping. And that pretty much led to me sleeping during the daytime. I mean, no surprise there. Rough night or not, I find myself being drawn to my bed on a daily basis to take naps.
No big plans for this week. I might get back to studying a few hours a day and also continue reading Heaven Official’s Blessing book 3. Book 7 just came out for this series and I am still on book 3. Shame on me. My goal is to marathon the books I have in this series in the next couple of weeks. And yes, I already have books 4 and 5 penciled in my schedule. I just need to buy books 6 and 7. Book 8 (the final volume) will be released on November 21, 2023. Yeah, I have a bit of catching up to do before the last book comes out.
- Title: Castlevania
- Episodes: Season 1 – 4 episodes; Season 2 – 8 episodes; Season 3 – 10 episodes; Season 4 – 10 episodes
- Where to Watch: Netflix
- Publisher: Powerhouse Animation Studios
I’ve been wanting to watch this and in all honesty, I did watch the first episode alone a while back. But I didn’t really get into it until I watched it with my partner. The series was an adaptation of a videogame of the same name, seasons 1 and 2 were based on Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse, and Castlevania: Curse of Darkness, with Alucard’s backstory from Castlevania: Symphony of Night.
Yes I know, people (elitists) say that this is not an anime since this was not made and produced in Japan. However, I will continue to refer to this as an anime because technically this is still an animation.
This anime starts with Vlad’s human wife being burned at the stake after being accused of witchcraft. In return, Vlad declares to avenge his wife by declaring an all-out war against the people of Wallachia. I guess war is not really the word that I am looking for. The people of Wallachia have no chance of fighting the demons summoned by Vlad to overrun the country and slaughter all the people in it.
This anime introduced me to a favorite trio – one of my favorites anyway. Trevor Belmont, Sypha Belnades, and Adrian “Alucard” Tepes. These three were balanced. Each had strengths. Each had weaknesses. And I loved them. Well, I love them still. I enjoyed their scenes together. I loved the banter exchanged between these characters. Their relationship naturally progressed to friendship. Usually, I would hate someone in a trio or at least there would be one that I least like. But with this one, I liked all three of them. Of course, my favorite is Alucard but that is a given.
Why do I love Adrian Tepes? I mean, why not? Of course, being a dhampir has nothing to do with it. Right. Well, he had a good character arc. Starting from being alone, opening himself up to two people, being in a self-imposed exile, being like his dad, and changing again. Granted, him being a dhampir has a lot to do with why I gravitated toward his character but it was also the depth. His loneliness that broke my heart over and over. And his willingness to open up to others after being burned by an incident that drove him to be like his dad.
The choices that Adrian made was commendable. Okay there might be some bias here. But the fact that he continued to open his heart regardless of the betrayals that he experienced was great. It would’ve been so easy to close off and just be a recluse like Vlad. I mean, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did choose to be a closed off person.
Another character arc that my man and I enjoyed was Isaac’s. He was Dracula’s (Vlad’s) human general (along with Hector). He was a forger, the same as Hector. He started as very dark. Basically, he aligned his ideals with Vlad and followed him, and agreed to what Vlad wanted. He believed that all humans are evil. So when Vlad decided to annihilate the human race, he was all for it. But throughout the whole series, as he started to meet different people, he started to see that there was goodness in them. And his beliefs started to evolve. Hector’s arc was good too. I mean, he was like a kid and we saw him grow up in some aspects. But I loved Isaac’s part more.
And like any other anime, there was a character who I hated with a passion – Carmilla. She was just something else. She was the “brains” in the Council of Sisters. I put that in quotes because when it all comes down to it, she was a dreamer. She tells her “sisters” what she wants to happen and then it is the other three who did all the logistics and the planning. What kind of bullshit is that? I hated her scheming and manipulation. But then again, maybe that’s why she was a good villain. I just really do not like her. All she ever did was boss other vampires around. She thought she was above everyone else including her “sisters”. I kept on saying that I wanted her to die right off the bat. I wanted her to die in such an anti-climatic way!
I honestly preferred Lenore over Carmilla. Lenore got underestimated a lot. She seemed so fragile and soft compared to the other “sisters” but that made her so scary. She was a diplomat and she knew how to manipulate those around her to do her bidding by gaining their trust and friendship first.
Overall, this was a good animated series. I enjoyed it. Despite the violence and gore, despite some intense scenes, I enjoyed the story. I loved the action, I loved how fleshed out the characters were (yes, including the characters that I really did not care for). I mean, it was about vampires for crying out loud. It was no surprise that I would love this anime, regardless of the fact that vampires were the villains. Anyway, the spinoff is coming out this month, and I cannot wait to see it.
Well, today is chilly. I wore a sweater this morning. And my feet are freezing as I am typing this, which is definitely a nice change of pace from the heat that we are experiencing. It really needs to be fall already. I want it to be fall already. Like tomorrow.
Anyway, I didn’t read the whole day. I mean, I did. Maybe a couple of paragraphs then allowed myself to be distracted by videos. I know. Horrible of me. Planning on reading tonight though so I am just a little disappointed in myself. I mean, what can I say? I was not in the mood to read earlier. I don’t really like to force myself to read when my brain doesn’t want to.
I was able to hang out a little bit with my man earlier until he lost power in their area. It has been a while. We didn’t watch anything because I was not in the mood to watch anything. So we just decided to catch up since it has been a while since we actually video chatted. My fault. It was good. We might try and watch something on Thursday. If my mood permits it.
Planning on reading tonight though. I’m going to try and read some pages of Craig & Fred. And if that doesn’t work, that means I am not in the mood to read nonfiction right now. And most likely, I would switch it to Heaven Official’s Blessing Book 3.
Well, today was a bust. I got absorbed in watching a streamer until about 2 AM-ish, woke up at 5 AM to go to the bathroom, and then went back to sleep until 10 AM. Yeah. It was rough. I did however end up being somewhat productive. I still did what I planned to do today – laundry, give Paco a haircut and a bath. So, my Monday was not totally wasted despite the late start this morning. The only thing that I had trouble with was writing my morning pages. Not sure why, but I felt like my brain was empty. Like no thoughts at all. Normally I would have something as mundane as “I want fried chicken” ingrained in my brain. But today, there was nothing.
I watched a few movies today. Mean Girls (2004) and Clueless (1995). Classics. At least to me, they are classics and definitely something that I have fun watching from time to time. Then I found this movie called Cursed (2004), a werewolf movie that flew under my radar. I feel like this movie was something that would’ve been right up my alley to enjoy. It was an okay movie. It was from the creators of Scream and it has a pretty star-studded cast which includes Christina Ricci, Joshua Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg, Judy Greer, Milo Ventimiglia. I don’t think it was a good movie, but it was fun. I mean, I had fun watching it. I mean, this was a horror comedy after all. There were some jump scares of course. And I appreciated it.
No big plans tonight. I just really want to read and chill. That’s it. I do have a headache right now so I just want to take it easy. Tomorrow is another day.