I always find myself in this state. The state of not wanting to do anything. I will call it laziness because it might be that. Or it could be my depression. Either way, I don’t want to do anything. However, I often find myself being forced to do shit. And I hate it. I just want not to move sometimes. Just be in bed and sleep. Or not. Whatever. As long as it results in me not doing anything.

With that rant out of the way, I did have to do some stuff today. I threw away the trash. Did laundry. Washed dishes. Applied for a job. Yeah. You know, adult things. And now, I’m exhausted. And I barely even did anything at all. I actually do need to go back to reorganizing the apartment again. So maybe tomorrow, I could squeeze in reorganizing the shoe rack and my reusable bags. I mean, the dogs are feeling a lot better, not 100% but they are getting there so I should be able to make little noises here and there in the apartment without disturbing them too much, especially the grouchy Phoebe.

Something adorable: she fell asleep while sitting on the pads that I laid out for them in the apartment. I heard her walking around and around the pads and suddenly I heard silence. I found her sleeping! Obviously, I moved her to the bed. And like the feisty one that she is, she was upset with me for waking her up.

Damn, I just felt like shit the whole day. I was falling asleep on my chair. Of course, that was not anything new, but I just don’t like it. Coffee really didn’t do anything at all. Which was unfortunate. I mean, sure, I didn’t really want to do anything today but I also did not sign up to be tired enough to fall asleep on my chair.

Anyway, I got to read a little bit before hanging out with my boyfriend. I have two chapters left on Lord of the Flies. Well, this book just got crazier. I mean, yeah. I am still wrapping my head around what just happened. However, my boyfriend and I got to watch some episodes of High Card and Bungo Stray Dogs.

Bungo Stray Dogs. This anime got dark. Finally got to see more of Akiko Yosano and her ability “Thou Shall Not Die”. I mean, I love her. I love crazy characters. Atsushi finally was able to tap into his ability. I guess a little bit of character development for him, considering finding his drive (proving that he is worthy to live) enabled him to touch that uncontrolled ability of his. I love that he was able to transform into a white tiger in segments and not go full weretiger. And we also met Kyoka Izumi! That last panel of her showing emotion and tearing up saying she does not want to kill anymore was heartbreaking.

High Card. Damn, I thought there would not be a character in here that could potentially annoy me. And yes there was! I cannot believe it. Her name is Sugar. Just the name makes me cringe. Not sure if she would have redemption, but I’m okay without it. I just don’t want to see her face anymore. She messed up her first assignment because she just had to investigate the Pinochle group or else she would lose sleep. Really? Now the person that you were supposed to be protecting died. And you didn’t even realize that he was missing until the next day. Like seriously. Bleh.

Plans tonight? Most likely read more. Like I said, I have two more chapters left on Lord of the Flies, so I kind of want to get finish that tonight.

I hated naps when I was a kid. My brother and I grew up playing outside the house with the neighborhood kids (cousins and actual neighbors). Around noon-ish, I remember my mom would call us back to the house to eat lunch and take a nap. Of course, the other kids continued playing outside regardless of the time. I remember that I had to pretend to be taking a nap until 3 PM. I pretended to be taking a nap, meaning I was just lying in bed with my eyes closed, doing absolutely nothing. I hated the whole ordeal. Once I became an adult though, naps became my absolute best friend. I was even annoyed why companies do not have a “paid one-hour nap” thingy. Adults would be happier being at work and more recharged during the other half of the shift. I mean, I knew a lot of people who would love this. Of course, this would never happen. Ever. At least here. Cause why would it?

Anyway, just because I am an adult (as my age suggests), I appreciate naps a lot more. Granted, there is no rhyme or reason why I should be feeling tired considering I have not been doing any strenuous activity. But I took a nap today because apparently, I was too tired and falling asleep on my chair. What was that? Regardless, I appreciated it since I felt so much more energized after waking up. So that was good.

My boyfriend and I watched a movie today. We decided on Scream (2022). I actually got annoyed that Scream 4 wasn’t available on Paramount+. Which was fine really, I was just annoyed that that was the only movie not available on there for this franchise. Anyway, the movie was okay. We have some “how in the hell was this person able to do that” moments. But for the most part, it was fun. I still think the first one was the best of them because I think that was the most original. But then again, people can only recreate and continue this franchise so much. This movie was definitely a lot more stab happy compared to the other three that we watched. I liked it.

I was able to read a bit more last night. So I would like to continue that tonight. I mean sure, I did not manage to make a dent with Lord of the Flies, but I am hoping tonight would be better considering that I had a nap. We shall see though. I would like to finish a book soon. I mean, I’ve been reading a lot of webtoons again. And for the most part, I enjoy it, but I am also itching to just read a book now. Hopefully, my focus does not waver at all tonight.

Wow, I hate a lot of things. I’m pretty sure I am not the only one who does not like to make a phone to make an appointment. Why do you not have an online appointment portal set up? I know, it’s not a big deal. But damn, I really just don’t like talking to someone. I’m one of those who would always prefer email to a meeting or a phone call. Anyway, the appointment was for Paco’s grooming, cause this boy is in massive need of a shave since it’s summer. I usually set this up before summer, but dog grooming does not come cheap.

I did wake up earlier today and it was nice. I was able to eat breakfast. I was able to do that phone call. I was able to take care of a couple of personal things that I needed to do. I went for a walk with Paco because it was early enough and it was not too hot. We enjoyed it. I cooked chicken in bbq sauce. I also cooked some rice. I was also able to give my senior babe, Phoebe, a bath. She was not happy with me. Oh! And I also baked them a peanut butter and banana cake. No, not my recipe, I am not a baker and not confident that I can actually bake anything I make from scratch.

All in all my day was pretty productive. Or at least more productive compared to the last few days for sure. I was able to hang out with my boyfriend to watch some anime. Since I gave up on Inuyasha, he needed to find a replacement since Inuyasha was his pick.

High Card. This was the replacement for Inuyasha. Three episodes in and so far, we liked the anime. Very fast-paced. And the premise with the playing cards was pretty interesting. Pretty interested in where this anime goes. So far, we’re having fun.

Naruto. Well, my hun got annoyed with Sakura. He said that she should have been the one to “ambush” the sound ninjas following them. What annoyed me about it was the fact that she did not even volunteer. Why? Because she knew she would not be able to delay those ninjas. And she had the audacity to talk shit about Shikamaru. You know what, it would be better if she had stayed behind and died during that episode. But Shikamaru was really amazing. And Asuma showing to help him out just in time. That was pretty cool. The fight between the Hokages was pretty good too. I wonder what would happen now that he decided to use the 4th Hokage’s hidden jutsu. Well, I have a recollection of what would happen.

Bungo Stray Dogs. Well, this one is just enjoyable. We were watching this in dubbed but decided to switch to the subbed version. Both were good, don’t get me wrong. I just needed a break from similar voice actors that you can easily tell from dubbed versions. Normally, I wouldn’t mind but dude, some of them for some reason have the same voices for different characters from different anime. My hun found a character he likes! Ranpo Edogawa with his ability of super deduction. Well, it was easy to like after his ability was explained by Dasai. I mean, it would be easy to say WOW with that ability.

No big plans tonight. Like any other night. I was able to read a little bit of Lord of the Flies this afternoon, which was good. But I want to read more tonight. I am tempted to just read this all night, not going to lie. It’s such a tiny book, I have no reason to procrastinate on it!

Well first off, I’ve been waking up later and later in the day. To be honest, I was not a big fan of it. I felt that I have a shorter day and I felt unproductive. Pretty much how I felt today. I woke up too late. And the sun was already blaring and it was just too hot to do anything. Granted I was able to throw away the trash and fold some clothes, but that was the extent of what I was able to do. Why? Because heat made movement a freaking struggle. Granted, it was not as hot as the previous days, but it was still hot. Hot for me anyway. Anyway, I need to make sure that I wake up early tomorrow. No excuses.

I was able to hang out with my boyfriend a little bit today. We were only able to watch one movie but that was fine. He was not feeling well today.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023). Well, my boyfriend picked this movie because he knows how much I love heist movies. And this was a heist movie. Look, the movie was not the greatest heist movie, it was not the greatest fantasy movie either, and of course, it was not the best comedy film out there. But you know what? It did the job. We enjoyed it, we laughed, we approved of the cheesiness, and we had fun seeing the chunky dragon sliding and rolling around the hanging underground city. The cast was good – especially Hugh Grant’s portrayal of a backstabbing conman.

No big plans tonight. I keep on saying that I really need to read, but to be honest, I am struggling with focusing on anything. But I do hope that I can get back to it soon enough. Because I have been slacking for a couple of weeks now. And that is just unacceptable. I also need to start journaling every day. The last entry I made there was from December before all the fiasco at work happened. So I am hoping that I can pick it up again, it will definitely improve my mental health. I am just struggling since I don’t currently have a writing space on my desk. I don’t know, but I need to figure it out.

Well, the earlier part of the day was rough. I had a very bad headache. I was able to cook some pasta though and went to the store to get a bit of groceries. It was not too hot today compared to yesterday so I just decided to get the grocery trip out of the way. However, my skin went haywire right when the sun touched it. It got really itchy with welts and rashes – my hands, my arms, legs, and neck. So I just took some allergy pills when I got home, and that took care of that little skin incident.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty chill. I just watched some YouTube videos. Boyfriend and I did hang out today and was able to watch some anime.

Naruto. We found that Kakashi thought Sasuke his Chidori. Orichimaru showed himself. Sound and Sand ninjas were starting to infiltrate Konoha. And Sakura had issues just doing what she was told. She had to be told three times to release Naruto and Shikamaru from the gengutsu that Kabuto did. But Pakkun finally got introduced formally! Yay! And he said his paw pad was soft and supple!

Inuyasha. I decided to drop this anime. My hun would continue watching this on his own though. But I just couldn’t continue with this one anymore. I was just beyond frustrated with the story at this point. So I was able to reach episode 50. Boyfriend was actually surprised that I lasted this long. I had to check how much more episodes were left in this anime. So 4 episodes left in season 2 and then 5 more seasons after that, so I just gave up. The last two episodes just made me so frustrated.

I cannot anymore. I was just done. I was done and it was all because of freaking Kagome who kept on insisting on wearing a fucking school uniform in this world when she could’ve easily worn regular clothes since she periodically goes back to her world anyway. Whatever, I’m done ranting about this anime.

Bungo Stray Dogs. We are definitely enjoying this one. No complaints so far. I loved the inner struggles of Atsushi, I hope he finds his worth soon. Also, that orphanage sucks balls. I am interested to know Dasai’s background. I mean I am interested in knowing the others too. But Dasai for the most part seems to have some interesting history. I am interested to see character development on Atsushi’s part. He has some pretty big trauma to overcome, and I want to see him able to control his ability.

Nothing major planned tonight. Just chill, maybe read something.

Oh my god. The heat I cannot. Let’s just say that I barely moved from where I was sitting the whole day. Because even the slightest movement was too much. I know that I was being a baby, but I really don’t care. I cannot deal with the heat, my breathing gets difficult and it just makes me even lazier than I should be. So not good. Whatsoever.

I was able to hang out with the boyfriend for a little bit today. He had a rough night sleeping last night and we had to end the hangout a lot earlier than normal. We did get to watch The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 so that was good. He seemed to really enjoy the series. He said that this one was pretty intense. And depending on how he likes the second part, he might want to read the books.

I teased my boyfriend earlier. He has this 1999 limited edition Pokeball that he likes to open on cam once in a while while we are video chatting. I know, he’s a nerd. I love it. Anyway, he decided to open it again. He slowly lifted it to the camera from the bottom, and before he opened it I said, “You would think there’s a ring in there.” I started laughing because he paused. And then he said that he would never ever look at that Pokeball the same ever again. It was worth it just for his reaction alone.

He decided to take a nap. We might hang out when he wakes up. But we shall see how he feels. Or if he even wakes up from the nap. I would like for it to be a full-on sleep for him. I feel like he has not been getting enough rest. And he needs sleep.

I really have no big plans tonight. I should really try to read a book or something. I have not been able to pick a book the past weeks since I finished Heaven Official’s Blessing Book 2. Not for the lack of trying. I was just not in the mood at all. Which was not an excuse, but just a fact.

Anyway, honestly, with the heat, I am just going to chill for the rest of the night.