this is a page for

Category: Diary

03.14.23 – To Be MIA

Well, it’s been a while. I have been in such a mood lately. Depressive. I was not in a good place. Then include PMS, yeah, it has been a ride.

Anyway, what’s new? I have been applying to different jobs right now. But this job-hunting business is a pain in the butt. And honestly, putting me in such a panic and contributing in my depressive mood.

My hun and I finished a couple of anime – Chainsaw Man and Soul Eater.

Chainsaw Man. Good anime. Enjoyable. The anime is a bit hyped. Not overhyped just enough. As I said, the anime was good. It was not groundbreaking by any means. The animation was definitely one of the best. I loved the fighting animations for sure. The story was fine. It flowed pretty well. I enjoyed Denji for sure. He was such a refreshing MC, especially for this type of anime. His dream was simple – to eat, to have a place to live, to work. At this point in time, he was living that dream. And all he strives, for now, was to keep living that dream – that was his motivation and I respect that. An MC does not need to have some big goals like being the best, revenge, be the boss. His mini goals also fit with his age, 16 years old – to fondle breasts, to experience a kiss. There was nothing wrong with that. The other characters were good too – Aki and his quest to take revenge on the demon who killed his family, Makima and her very scary demonic contract, Himeno and her desire to be with Aki and to move to the private sector with him. I purposefully left out Power. Both my hun and I are still kind of meh with her. I know she was supposed to be a manic pixie dream girl archetype and the fan favorite. But so far, we have not seen any redeeming qualities yet. We shall see. There were definitely some mouth-dropping moments, which pushed us to kind of watched more episodes that one day. However, we were also not left with excitement for the second season. It was more like “Okay, not bad. We will watch the next season when it comes it”. I give it a 7 or 8 out of 10. My hun gave it a 7.5 out of 10.

Soul Eater. Hmmmm, the first parts of the anime was good. I enjoyed it. I was engaged with the anime up until the Kishin was freed by Medusa. Then it went downhill from there, at least for me. Do not get me wrong, there were episodes that I did enjoy. Any Death the Kid episodes were good. That episode where Justin was introduced, and pretty much any episode that he was in made me smile. I am definitely not a fan of Maka. I prefer episodes where she was not shown at all. I love Stein. Those episodes where he was fighting his madness and getting lost in it were haunting. I have some major complaints, why was Medusa alive? She was great up to the point where Stein and Spirit killed her. Only to reveal that she really did not die. WHY? She was so useless after that. Then Arachne got introduced. A villain that was not needed. Again why? Because Medusa was not motherly enough to be able to manipulate the Kishin to her bed? Do not even get me started with the ending. I cannot. Now I understand why it was considered, IS CONSIDERED, as one of the worst endings in anime. I give this anime a 4 out 10.

I still have not been able to read a book. So my half-read books are just sitting on my table. My brain would not let me focus. I have been consuming a lot of webtoons though. That is the only medium my brain is able to process at the moment.

03.08.23 – When Sleep Becomes Rather Difficult

The stress is getting to me. The one thing that I’m really scared of is homelessness. And I am losing sleep over it.

Anyway, I meant to read a book today. But I got distracted by a lot of webtoons. I am not complaining. I just think it is ridiculous that I am back on this kick again. Which is fine. I just have a lot of books to read. But I find that recently or when I’m really stressed or anxious, I tend to pick some reading materials that are a bit easier to digest. I am enjoying them though hence the ever-growing obsession over them. It does not help that I discovered a new app that has more BL stuff available without having to spend money to read the episodes. Reading involves a lot of waiting though.

I have just been putting on a brave face. Smiling. Laughing. Like nothing is happening. But honestly, my head is spinning, I am anxious, and I am stress eating. And my eating habits have definitely not been great – just eating whatever and not being mindful of my allergens. It’s bad.

I have Bob’s Burgers playing in the background. The noise is deafening in this apartment.

03.07.23 – My Bed Calls My Name

I am feeling off. I just feel exhausted. I’m in pain as well. For some freaking reason, I am in pain. My hun is also feeling off. Yes, we are a pair.

We decided to take a raincheck for today. From what I gather, both of us just stayed in bed. I mean that is what I did after washing the dishes and feeding the dogs when I got home from work. I had Sleepless in Seattle in the background. I just wanted something that I do not need to pay attention to. Hence, I chose this movie.

I have not been able to read a book. I have been busy looking for jobs. Or busy getting stressed looking for jobs. Yeah, I have been on a roller coaster for the last couple of weeks. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and depression is starting to seep in.

03.06.23 – The Crows Flew

How was my first day back after a week or so PTO? Stressful. Well, not really. I just felt tired. I almost did not want to go to work. Definitely not happy to be back. But I need to pay the bills. So to work I went.

My hun and I finally got to hang out tonight! It was nice after not being able to when I was in SoCal. I had a good time. Although, I do have a headache now. We ended up finishing Haikyu!! season 3. And oh boy. Yeah. YEAH.

Haikyu!! The last three episodes of season three definitely had me on the edge of my seat. As my hun said, they did a good job expanding this 5-set game to 10 episodes. And there were no lulls the whole time. This season is the Tsukki arc for sure, hands down. His character development was top-notch. It took a while for him, but damn, this character arc was good. My hun cheered when Tsukki ran back to the court. One of my favorite panels, as well as my hun favorite panel, was when Hinata and Tsukki were being overpowered by Ushijima. Basically, the visual was Ushijima pushing Hinata and Tsukki down on the ground. As the other Karasuno team members helped to keep the ball up – Daichi, Asahi, and Ryu, the visual added them helping the first years push Ushijima off them. It was great. It was such a powerful representation that Karasuno is in fact a team working seamlessly, helping each other out. Well, the loss for Shiratorizawa was definitely an upset but I do not care. Their team was so boring to watch. The only animated player there was Tendo. Anyway, Karasuno is going to the Nationals.

Not that I watch sports anime in general, but if we end up watching some more of this genre in the future, Haikyu!! set the bar pretty high. I do have a feeling that we will have a hard time finding another sports anime that can keep us this invested.

03.03.23 – PTO Coming to a Close

This makes me sad. I’ve been enjoying this no work thing. And now I would need to go back to the real world, because I fucking have to.

Anyway, I visited Chris’ folks today. And yes, you guessed it – I overate. And yes, I passed out because of food coma. Regardless, it was a nice quick visit and catching up. My mom took home a lot of plants for her backyard.

I read a lot of webtoons on the way there, and read a few pages of The Killing Dance. I do have a feeling that I will not be able to finish any book till this vacation is done. It’s all good. At least I got some reading done. I am not complaining. I feel like my vacay has been successful.

Now, all I can think of is that I do not want to go back to work. And yes, I am having some major anxiety going back. I am not a big fan of flying, and I would have to go back to work next week. And I don’s want to.

03.02.23 – What is Up with these Filipino Movies Making Me Cry?

Well today was another day spent with my parents. And honestly, it was fine. My vacation was not for me to see friends and other people, I went to SoCal to visit my folks. So when I said that I was fine just staying at home and spending time with them, I meant it.

Anyway, we just went to do some grocery shopping. We bought some stuff to cook at home. And I ended up cooking them dinuguan since my mom does not like cooking with blood. I mean it was easy. I’ve cooked the dish a few times, and I am glad that my parents liked it.

We also just watched a couple of movies and I liked both of them. I mean, compared to rom-coms, the adult Filipino dramas just hit different. The topic and the conflicts are on a more mature end of things and I appreciate that.

A Faraway Land. This one is good for sure. I liked it. The only thing that I tend to not agree on, is that the “love” is a little bit on the instant end of things. 6 days to fall in love with someone is a bit too soon. Too superficial. You cannot expect a person to leave her husband, her daughter, her life in a foreign land on a simple attraction. Is it realistic? I believe so. The only thing that I do not buy is the love part. Attraction, sure. Love, nah. Not enough time to nurture that.

First Love. Now this! This was just wow. My experience with this movie was good. I mean, I cried! I cried! I smiled, I was giddy. I was heartbroken. This definitely pulled at my heartstrings. This movie just hit me in such a visceral way. Awesome movie. I have no complaints. Well, I guess I have complaints but not about the movie. My parents watched this movie already and I said I have not. So they said “Sure, let’s watch it. It’s a good movie”. I started the movie, and my parents decided to say the huge spoilers of the plot. “Great” was all that I could think of. It did not deter me from enjoying the movie though.

I’ve been reading webtoons sparingly throughout the day. Like I said, I do not want to isolate myself if I read a book. Since the main reason I am on PTO and why I’m in SoCal was to to spend time with my folks. And reading a book would require me to not be present with them.