Like The Tomato
Nothing here but my musings about daily life, books, anime, and food.
- Title: Don’t Call It a Cult: The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM
- Author: Sarah Berman
- Genre: Nonfiction, Cults
- Pages: 336
- Publisher: Steerforth
- Published: 2021
I was in a True Crime kick. Well, not necessarily true crime, but I am getting into occults and cults in general. I have been obsessed with them. One thing that drew me into this self-help cult in particular is the fact that members were there by choice. These people were recruited and stayed. And I wanted to understand more of the psychology of it.
For those who don’t know, NXIVM was a multi-level marketing self-help organization. Well, it started that way. And on paper, the organization seemed to be helping people. Well, rich people. The 5-day ESP course was like 6K if I recall correctly. So yeah, definitely not for regular people like me who live paycheck-to-paycheck. In my head, I thought, yeah, rich people with too much money to spend. But you know what, I don’t blame them. Who does not want to better themselves? Who does not want to face life as the better version of themselves? Who can say no to progress and overcoming self-restrictions with just a five-day class compared to how many years of therapy?
It was definitely tempting. Enticing. And seems like for some people, the programs offered by this organization helped them. And really, who am I to diminish their good experiences being in that community? However, this book gave me an inside view of what was really happening inside the organization. I mean, the organization sounded progressive on paper, I mean, the leader definitely capitalized on women’s empowerment.
It all came down to how predatory the organization really was. From the structure. Promising their recruits that they could potentially start earning money by going up stripe path. And promotions were based on recruitment and continuing to take X amount of classes. I mean, seriously. Before anyone could earn money, you had to shed more money. Like I said, this organization was really for rich people.
From what I read, and all the documentaries I watched regarding this group, the people who stayed were broken down, and then love-bombed to let those people know that they accept their flaws as well. The organization made them believe that this was the only place that could make them better versions of themselves. And that was crazy! From the unsanctioned medical experiments, from manipulation via NLP, and then using the power of suggestion. Yeah, it was a trip reading and listening to testimonials from former members.
The real slap on the face though was the organization’s subgroup called Jness. They marketed it as the only women’s empowerment group created by a man. Trust me, I rolled my eyes at that. And reading up on it and watching the documentaries, all I could think of was “You guys actually had this leader mansplain how to be a woman”. This was also a way for the leader, Raniere, to pick and choose who would be recruited to DOS. His sex cult. According to some testimonials, not all the 100+ members of this “sorority” had sex with Raniere, but there were a select few hand-picked by this man, to be groomed to have sex with him in the guise of “healing”. When I read how he explained sex and how he used it for spiritual and energy transference, I almost threw my tablet across my bedroom. Because of the ridiculousness of it. I am not blaming the women at this point, because the women who fell for this kind of BS had been broken and indoctrinated already. Some of them were groomed to accept it. DOS was really Raniere’s fantasy of building his sex dungeon, which he liked to call a “dorm”, with some number of carefully selected young women slaves.
Of course, like any perverted cult leader, grooming teenage girls, especially the sisters, was not a surprise. Counting calories and sleep deprivation were disguised as building character and discipline, which apparently are two characteristics that women lack. According to a man. Like I said, this leader mansplained being a woman to women. Don’t even get me started on their views on victimhood and abuse. And the fact that this was taught in ESP classes. I just cannot. Well, you know, it really made me want to punch this leader repeatedly in the face.
I have so many thoughts on this cult. And it makes my blood boil. The book really did help me understand some of the psychology. It made me understand why it became a huge organization for years. I understood why some people joined and stayed. And to the people who defected, they said that once they stopped drinking the Cool Aid, then that was when all the red flags glared at them. I know a lot of people would say “I would never be sucked into a cult like this”. And to me, after reading the book and watching the documentaries, I could not think this way. The people who were sucked into this organization were not stupid. These were and are accomplished individuals who got exploited by a leader who knew how to use their weaknesses to keep them in the organization. These people just wanted to be better. To feel better. To understand themselves. I mean, honestly, and I hate to say it, if I was approached by one of these recruiters (women recruiters) when I was in my early 20s, yeah, who knew what would’ve happened? Well, nothing. Cause I didn’t have $$$ to pay for the classes. But if I had some kind of disposable income back then and I got approached, yeah, maybe. Like I said, the organization was really good on paper. Again, someone like me, who would always find a way to learn more and understand more, yeah, I would’ve at least attended a 5 day intensive. Now that was a scary realization.
My November reading has taken a backseat for sure. I got a new job this month. And I am finding a rhythm with things. I mean, I still think that my reading was decent. However, I have not been able to read a novel, which is shameful. And turned to the instant gratification of reading some webtoons.
The only novel I finished this month was Heaven Official’s Blessing Vol 6. I did start reading volume 7 in November but have not been able to continue. My focus kept on wavering. Anyway, I love Vol 6. I mean, I love all the books that I have read so far. I am pretty hyped since the last volume (Vol 8) has been released and I got my copy. And I am excited to get a satisfying ending on one of the best series that I have ever read.
Of course, a lot of manhwa and manga in November. There were a few favorites for sure.
You Get Me Going (manhwa, webtoon). I finished reading the manhwa – this should be the second/last season for this one. And I still think this was a gem. I loved seeing MC and ML navigating their relationship from fuck buddies to actually having a full-on relationship. I was smiling, I was giddy. The communication between the two was top-notch. Green flags all over the place. Yeah, again, love it.
How My Daddies Became Mates (manga, webtoon). This is just adorable. I tend to not enjoy omegaverse too much, the genre itself has a lot of red flags, but this one was really fun. From enemies to lovers to being fated mates and to being dads. It was nice seeing the progression of their relationship. The angst – I mean, they met in high school – so the angst was high! But I love the journey of the main characters realizing what they meant to each other. But then again, I realized that I really enjoy reading some enemies to lovers stories.
Hetakuso Love Step (manga, webtoon). This was just cute. MC and ML in college, ML was a playboy – scared of being hurt. MC was the awkward smart boy that ML found himself falling for. I think what I enjoyed in this one was how organic the relationship was. It was young love. With a lot confusion and a lot of realizations. The first chapter was rough, but not too much to deter me from seeing where these characters would go. And I’m glad I decided to continue on. Again, this was just cute.
Honorable mentions were Walk on Water, Love Plan, and Like a Tidal Wave (manhwa, webtoon). These were enjoyable. At least, I enjoyed the reading experience. They’re not the best but they were worth the time.
I read a lot of manhwa last month. I think my brain wanted to take a break from novels for a bit. So, I read 23 manhwa, 2 graphic novels, 2 manga, and 5 novels. All in all, my reading is still not bad. I enjoyed a lot of the ones I read, and I even found a couple of gems that I really recommend.
Out of the 23 manhwa last month, there are three worth mentioning:
You Get Me Going (manhwa, webtoon). This is a completed manhwa with 2 seasons. I finished 1 season last month and I am currently reading season 2. This is one of the healthiest BLs out there. It is fun, the story works, and the MCs are adorable. This follows an enemies-to-lovers trope, with them starting as coworkers who cannot stand each other, progressing to fuck buddies, then to them realizing that they are falling for each other. This was a gem. The story for season 1 was good, the progression of the relationship was natural, and the communication was great. I enjoyed my reading experience with this manhwa.
XXX Buddy (manhwa, webtoon). This is an ongoing manhwa with 2 complete seasons, season 3 is ongoing. I read the 2 completed seasons while I was in SoCal. What do I like about this one? Again, a BL that showcases a healthy relationship between the MCs. Sure, they started rocky, not quite as enemies but not really friends either. They are coworkers, both leads of their respective teams, and collaborate a lot. One thing is for sure is the fact that they are drawn to each other. They started as fuck buddies as well, but I am at the point of the story where they are realizing that they mean more to each other than casual hook-up partners. Again, the communication between these two characters is top-notch. The progression of the story and the relationship is natural.
Sheep’s Mask (manhwa, webtoon). This is a completed manhwa with just 12 chapters. A quick read for sure but a difficult one. I am not sure why this is under the BL category because it’s not. There is no love here. This was a story of revenge. A private experienced a lot of horrible things during his military service, the MC knew about it and didn’t do anything and even partake in this horrible thing. The private vowed revenge. And that was fair. I cannot fault him for it. This is violent, and graphic. And I found my heart broken after reading the story.
Alpha’s Cage, Fox Hunt (novels, eBooks). These are books 9 and 10 of the Haven City series. So I finally finished this 10-book series. Out of these two, I enjoyed Alpha’s Cage a bit more. A second-chance romance that involves loss, grieving, and letting go. For a novel of only 200-something pages, it packed emotions and it was done well. I think this might be my favorite in this series. Fox Hunt was fine. I just didn’t like the age gap, it was just too much of a gap for me to be comfortable.
Omega in the Shadows, Omega in the Light (novels, eBooks). These are books 1 and 2 of a 6-book series called Lost Wolves by the same author of the Haven City series. I think you can guess that I enjoyed Haven City so much that I decided to pick another series by the same author. These two books follow 2 omega brothers who happen to be assassins. Omega in the Shadows follows Elijah Kane, an omega assassin. A mercenary hired to kill some high profile questionable people. He came face to face with Rowan Gregor who happens to be working for the CIA and super hellbent on hunting him down. Omega in the Light follows Simeon Kane, another omega assassin who happens to be Elijah’s younger brother. His target, Zev Oren, proved to be a huge problem. Not because he is tough to kill but because he thinks his target is too vibrant and too alive to die. Anyway, I enjoyed these two books. A little bit more graphic on the violence compared to Haven City which I loved. This series also involves a fated mate trope. So far, out of these two books that I read, I liked book 2 a bit more. I enjoyed the progression of the relationship between Simeon and Zev a bit more.
Heaven Official’s Blessing Vol 5 (novel, physical). I cannot describe anymore how much I love this series. I love the very feisty baby Hua Cheng in this volume. I love the shenanigans between these martial gods especially Pei Ming while he was teasing Xie Lian regarding Hua Cheng. I love the revelations that I am slowly getting as I read more in the series. I was laughing, I was annoyed, my heart fluttered. Again, I just cannot describe how this series is just too good for words. I am reading volume 6 right now.
given vol 8 (manga, physical). I waited for this volume until the physical copy came out. This series better not be done. This book still has a bit more internal conflict as Mafuyu struggles to decide if he wants to go pro with his band. There is definitely some tension between Mafuyu and Ritsuka making the latter question their relationship and his boyfriend’s behavior. However, I am excited about the debut of Hiragi’s band where Ritsuka is playing guitars temporarily since given is kind of at a standstill waiting for Mafuyu’s decision. Anyway, this manga better continues, I am more than invested.
I mean, despite the lower number of novels read last month, I still consider October a successful reading month. I also realized that I really enjoy enemies-to-lovers stories. There is some kind of satisfaction that I feel when the characters realize that they are in love with each other. And when they finally confess their feelings to each other, oh the happiness I feel. I am looking into expanding towards that genre a little bit. I also find enjoyment when the communication between characters is so clear. I don’t know why that is not something that can be incorporated a bit more. Anyway, hopefully, I get to keep this momentum up for November.
- Title: Craig & Fred
- Author: Craig Grossi
- Genre: Memoir, Nonfiction
- Pages: 288
- Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
- Published: 2018
I always find it challenging to find the words to describe what I feel about a book that I really love. I am having one of those moments right now. I don’t even know how to start talking about this book. All I know is that this book became one of my favorite reads.
I took a War Literature class back in the day, and I really enjoyed that class. The books chosen for the required reading and writing during that class were pretty great. In fact, I found another favorite during that class. So when I found Craig & Fred online, I knew I had to buy it. Sure, it took a while for me to pick it up, but I was finally in the mood to read some nonfiction so I picked it up.
The book chronicled how an Afghan stray dog (Fred) saved a marine (Craig) and vice versa. I enjoyed the book’s semi-linear narrative. The chapters alternate between the times in Afghanistan and a US road trip. We got to see these two meet in Afghanistan during Craig’s deployment, Fred’s moment at the base leading up to his flight home to the US, Craig and Fred’s reunion, and the road trip with a friend. It was a ride.
I am not lying when I say that this book put me on an emotional roller coaster. I was smiling nonstop from when these two met, and in every single interaction Fred had with each marine. I did get annoyed at times because of the need to sneak Fred around because of some misguided BS about dogs being a distraction. I don’t get it and I will never get it. Really, euthanizing the dogs because marines should not get attached to them. Yeah. I just refuse to understand that. And I’m not going to apologize for it.
There were moments that broke my heart and led me to tears. The loss, the PTSD, and the struggle of going back to normal life after being exposed to such a stressful environment. And yes, I got stressed out and my anxiety was triggered when Craig, Fred, and Josh were in the woods. Or any chapter really where they were depicted to be in the woods during their road trip. But that’s because I am not an outdoorsy person. And would never choose camping. And there were moments that restored my faith in humanity – well some faith. I just love the random acts of kindness Craig and Fred received from the people they met.
Honestly, this is just such a heartwarming read and I didn’t want it to end. Yes, I already bought Second Chances because I really want to continue on with their journey. I am glad that I read this book. I was a bit worried that this book would end with Fred being left in Afghanistan. Good thing it didn’t happen or else I would be crying in bed. And this was really the reason why I loved the alternating timeline of this book. This was such a good read. A good reading experience for me. And I was glad that I decided to pick it when I did.
I really cannot complain about my reading for this month. 17 items read is really not bad for me. I read 7 manhwa, 1 memoir, and 9 novels. Again, I have nothing to complain about. I enjoyed most of the things on this list.
Out of the 7 manhwa I read this month, three definitely stood out – The Words in Your Snare, The Big Apple, and The Black Mirror. There were two that I really didn’t like – Link in the Hole and All For 9900 Won. Hold Me Tight and Pleasure Principle were fine.
The Words in Your Snare (manhwa, webtoon). The story follows Lee Jooin, a reclusive cafe owner with some kind of ability who catches the eye of a gangster, Mookya. Mookya also happened to be the only person whose thoughts Jooin couldn’t read. Due to circumstances beyond his control, Jooin got dragged into Mookya’s dangerous world. It was pretty obvious since the beginning that Jooin would be drawn to Mookya. I mean, can you blame him? It would be nice to be with someone whose thoughts he couldn’t read. Anyway, the story was a lot to take in. It has organized crimes, special abilities, romance with a dangerous person…and then throws some kind of incestuous brother in the mix. This was such a wild ride – it was difficult to read especially as the story progressed and we got to see Jooin’s past life that led to him moving to live exclusively in a rural area. For the most part, it was heartbreaking. And I couldn’t stop reading.
The Black Mirror (manhwa, webtoon). Well, I mean I knew that this would be some kind of fantasy when I started reading it. But I did not realize that it would be supernatural and creepy. In this manhwa, we follow Tae-jun who lost his childhood memories. As he was looking for an apartment, he met a handsome writer, Yeon-woo, who recognized him immediately. And as Tae-jun started living with Yeon-woo, his nightmares and hallucinations of bloody, disembodied hands escalated. This was definitely not something that I would normally gravitate towards but I got so invested so quickly that I couldn’t stop reading. I needed to know what the fuck was happening. It was wild. I can say that I was not scared of the hands and the mirrors, I was more scared of the psychological aspect of the relationship between Jun and Yeon-woo. It was definitely a mind-fuck of an experience.
The Big Apple (manhwa, webtoon). In this story, we follow Joachim – a very talented sniper of an organization called the Secret Intelligence Agency. His work definitely is stressful and his only reprieve is his times with his lover, Juergen. Honestly, I thought this would be some kind of action manhwa that’s why I gravitated towards it. But I was wrong, it was really some kind of urban fantasy with gifted characters and dragons. I did enjoy how the conflict arose and got resolved. I was not invested in the romance as much. I did have some issues with the relationship between the main characters. There was too much possession and toxicity, a lot of games and manipulation. It got really difficult to read at times. However, aside from that, I really enjoyed the plot when it progressed.
Craig & Fred (memoir, physical book). I don’t want to say too much about this. Let’s just say that this book became one of my favorite reads. I mean, it was about a dog and a marine and how they saved each other. What is not to love about this? It was definitely emotional in parts. I was definitely in an emotional roller coaster. I will have a separate reaction post on this book soon.
Lolita (classic, physical book). I just want to say that I read “Lolita”. It was a good read, and I will say this again, you’re not missing anything if you haven’t read this one. I already had a reaction up about this one. Check the post here.
Beta’s Thief, Alpha’s War, Tiger’s Den, Dragon & Flame, Alpha’s Gamble, Alpha Enchanted (novels, eBooks). These are books 3 to 8 of a 10-book Haven City series. Out of these six books, I enjoyed Beta’s Thief and Alpha’s War were my favorite reads. Not the best for sure, but these two had some angsts and a bit of heist in the story. So, of course, I would enjoy them. The other novels were okay. I think I just preferred the characters, dynamics, and conflicts in books 3 & 4. It took a while for me to get into the stories for the latter novels.
Heaven Official’s Blessing Vol 3 and Vol 4 (novels, physical books). I love this series. I have nothing else to say. My heart was fluttering the whole time I was reading these volumes. The interactions between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng made me smile and giddy. I was laughing at certain parts. The story could be really graphic. And the author did not shy away from gore. These were some great reads!
I did enjoy the majority of what I read last month. I really took some time to catch up on some manhwa in September compared to the months prior. I am hopeful that I can keep my reading momentum through October.
- Anime Title: Moriarty the Patriot
- Episodes: 1 Season – 24 episodes, 2 OVAs
- Where to Watch: Crunchyroll
- Publisher: Bandai Visual
I am not some kind of Sherlock Holmes expert but I am familiar with the world, having read some of the stories and watching those Robert Downey Jr movies. I can’t say what really pulled me to the anime. I just remember watching it one day. And loving it. Yes, love. I watched this anime maybe five times already. Let’s just say that this anime features my ultimate pairing and another strong trio.
As the title suggests, this anime follows Moriarty as he strategies to fix the British Empire’s systemic inequity while evading being discovered by none other than Sherlock Holmes. The first episode was really good in being the hook for me. I mean, I cannot stop watching the anime after that introduction. Then the anime proceeds to keep me entertained as I see how Moriarty planned on fixing the British Empire. The story is really solid – I dare say exciting and exhilarating. Well, it kept me watching multiple times.
Let’s talk about a trio that became an instant favorite for me. The Moriarty’s. The Moriarty Siblings. Moriarty. I would gush over them over and over. Each brother has his own strength that makes this trio work so well. We have Albert James Moriarty – the oldest of the brothers, a lieutenant colonel; William James Moriarty – the middle brother, a crime consultant, a professor; and Louis James Moriarty – the youngest, the quiet but really deadly one. My favorite is William, and my hubby’s favorite is Louis. Out of these three, someone stands out – William. He was the one who had a clear vision, a clear-cut plan of how he wanted to reform the British empire. And his brothers believed and supported him in it. William was the leader and everyone who looked at the brothers could tell that he was the brains of this operation. He was so intelligent. There were so many episodes in this anime that showcased his skills and it was amazing.
Let’s talk about my favorite pair. William and Sherlock Holmes. After watching this anime so many times, these two together are just satisfying to watch. They are friends and rivals. Their intellect is on par with each other. Sherlock sparked William’s interest the moment they met. William thinks Sherlock is one brilliant man. Let’s just say that William chose Sherlock to play a role in his plans. Sherlock on the other hand has no interest in being manipulated by William. There were moments when he had no choice but to play along, but we find him doing things outside of William’s expectations often. My fujoshi heart flutters for these two. They are my one true pairing in this anime because they make sense to me. These two were featured as my desktop wallpaper for quite a while.
I was very hesitant to watch this anime with my partner. Why? I loved this anime so much that I’m really scared of what he would think about it. Spoiler alert: he ended up enjoying and loving the anime. Both of us were on the edge of our seats while watching this movie. Seriously, this has mystery, and intrigue, and is very brainy. It features some really compelling characters – Fred is also one of my hubby’s favorites that came out of this anime. I could keep on gushing about this anime but do yourself a favor and check it out. This anime became one of my favorites after the first few episodes and I would continue to rewatch this over and over and over. I need to get the manga now.