Like The Tomato
just me, my books, and my journals
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Roma
- Title: Lolita
- Author: Vladimir Nabokov
- Genre: Classic
- Pages: 317
- Publisher: Vintage International
- Published: 1955 (first publication), 1989 (50th edition)
There was no rhyme or reason for my reading this book. It was very superficial really – I wanted to be able to say “I read it”. I guess you can say that I was just curious as to what it is really. This was not the first time I picked this book up. I tried to read this novel a few years ago but I couldn’t shake off the fact that the novel was in the POV of a very very unreliable narrator. I remember deciding that I couldn’t go through with it and put the book back on my shelf. However, after watching a few videos on this book recently, I got the itch to give it a second try. I knew and I understood that I would need to keep an open mind reading the text. Not going to lie, I had to prep my brain a little bit so that I could actually dive into the story.
Let’s talk about the writing first. This was a well-written book. The prose was beautiful. The novel was very accessible. Sure, there were unfamiliar words that I had to look up but I didn’t mind that one bit. The writing had texture for sure. There were phrases in French, some in Latin. Nabokov had a way to just draw you in. However, the phrases that gave the writing texture also were the ones that disturbed the reading experience for me. To quote Dolores or Lolita, “…do you mind very much cutting out the French? It annoys everybody”. I laughed when I read that specific line. Because at that point in the book, I was tired of typing these phrases to a translator. And yes, I was complaining that it took me out of the story so often that it got so exhausting at times. Regardless, Nabokov managed to capture and tantalize me. The author placed me, as a reader, as part of the jury to pass judgment on Humbert Humbert.
The subject matter is definitely controversial. I feel like Nabokov thought, “I want to write a novel about obsession and possession and maybe love but in the most controversial way”. And here we are! Look, there is no question about the legality of the sexual relations between an adult and a minor. In this case, between a 37-year-old man and a 12-year-old girl. No questions about it. Even Humbert Humbert himself knew his desire for this kid was illegal. If the narrator was charged with this offense, there would be no legal defense for him. It does not exist. Regardless if Lolita seduced Humbert. Regardless if Lolita gave her consent. Those would be irrelevant. Because Lolita being 12 years old trumps everything else.
The novel chronicled the seduction, the grooming, the consummation, and the downfall of Humbert’s relationship with Lolita which led to a crime that he was on trial for. This novel was his confession to that crime. It was a legal document, a formal written document. A witness statement told in Humbert’s POV. As a reader, as part of the jury, it was clear that he was guilty of the crime. However, the novel/confession also detailed a crime that he was not charged with. Not sure how that would work in court or the legal system, but it made me “listen” and observe something that is considered illegal and offensive. And that was the chunk of this book. The crime that Humbert was on trial for was only discussed in the foreword and the last chapters of the book. The rest was a detail of a totally different crime that was used to explain his motive. Regardless of how immoral, how narcissistic, how selfish, Humbert told his truth and his reality. This confession was made to make the jury understand why he did what he did.
Anyway, this was a ride. It was difficult for me to read at times. I would lie if I said that some parts did not trigger my anxiety. Because it did. I knew for a fact that I had notes in there saying that Humbert Humbert was a dirty old man – gross. And I was meant to feel that way. However, I was also forced to look at this as a true confession of his reality. His shame. Humbert was pretty aware that his obsession, or dare I say it, love with Lolita was illegal. He knew it. And he was sharing this shameful thing as a context to a crime that he committed, the crime that he was being judged on. Regardless of how thought-provoking this novel is, regardless of how beautifully it was written, I really don’t think a reader is missing anything if he/she has not read this work. This book is not for everyone. I know there are a number of people who actually really loved this book and reread it from time to time. I personally would not read it again. I think once was enough for me to say “Yeah, I read Lolita”.
- Title: Castlevania
- Episodes: Season 1 – 4 episodes; Season 2 – 8 episodes; Season 3 – 10 episodes; Season 4 – 10 episodes
- Where to Watch: Netflix
- Publisher: Powerhouse Animation Studios
I’ve been wanting to watch this and in all honesty, I did watch the first episode alone a while back. But I didn’t really get into it until I watched it with my partner. The series was an adaptation of a videogame of the same name, seasons 1 and 2 were based on Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse, and Castlevania: Curse of Darkness, with Alucard’s backstory from Castlevania: Symphony of Night.
Yes I know, people (elitists) say that this is not an anime since this was not made and produced in Japan. However, I will continue to refer to this as an anime because technically this is still an animation.
This anime starts with Vlad’s human wife being burned at the stake after being accused of witchcraft. In return, Vlad declares to avenge his wife by declaring an all-out war against the people of Wallachia. I guess war is not really the word that I am looking for. The people of Wallachia have no chance of fighting the demons summoned by Vlad to overrun the country and slaughter all the people in it.
This anime introduced me to a favorite trio – one of my favorites anyway. Trevor Belmont, Sypha Belnades, and Adrian “Alucard” Tepes. These three were balanced. Each had strengths. Each had weaknesses. And I loved them. Well, I love them still. I enjoyed their scenes together. I loved the banter exchanged between these characters. Their relationship naturally progressed to friendship. Usually, I would hate someone in a trio or at least there would be one that I least like. But with this one, I liked all three of them. Of course, my favorite is Alucard but that is a given.
Why do I love Adrian Tepes? I mean, why not? Of course, being a dhampir has nothing to do with it. Right. Well, he had a good character arc. Starting from being alone, opening himself up to two people, being in a self-imposed exile, being like his dad, and changing again. Granted, him being a dhampir has a lot to do with why I gravitated toward his character but it was also the depth. His loneliness that broke my heart over and over. And his willingness to open up to others after being burned by an incident that drove him to be like his dad.
The choices that Adrian made was commendable. Okay there might be some bias here. But the fact that he continued to open his heart regardless of the betrayals that he experienced was great. It would’ve been so easy to close off and just be a recluse like Vlad. I mean, I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did choose to be a closed off person.
Another character arc that my man and I enjoyed was Isaac’s. He was Dracula’s (Vlad’s) human general (along with Hector). He was a forger, the same as Hector. He started as very dark. Basically, he aligned his ideals with Vlad and followed him, and agreed to what Vlad wanted. He believed that all humans are evil. So when Vlad decided to annihilate the human race, he was all for it. But throughout the whole series, as he started to meet different people, he started to see that there was goodness in them. And his beliefs started to evolve. Hector’s arc was good too. I mean, he was like a kid and we saw him grow up in some aspects. But I loved Isaac’s part more.
And like any other anime, there was a character who I hated with a passion – Carmilla. She was just something else. She was the “brains” in the Council of Sisters. I put that in quotes because when it all comes down to it, she was a dreamer. She tells her “sisters” what she wants to happen and then it is the other three who did all the logistics and the planning. What kind of bullshit is that? I hated her scheming and manipulation. But then again, maybe that’s why she was a good villain. I just really do not like her. All she ever did was boss other vampires around. She thought she was above everyone else including her “sisters”. I kept on saying that I wanted her to die right off the bat. I wanted her to die in such an anti-climatic way!
I honestly preferred Lenore over Carmilla. Lenore got underestimated a lot. She seemed so fragile and soft compared to the other “sisters” but that made her so scary. She was a diplomat and she knew how to manipulate those around her to do her bidding by gaining their trust and friendship first.
Overall, this was a good animated series. I enjoyed it. Despite the violence and gore, despite some intense scenes, I enjoyed the story. I loved the action, I loved how fleshed out the characters were (yes, including the characters that I really did not care for). I mean, it was about vampires for crying out loud. It was no surprise that I would love this anime, regardless of the fact that vampires were the villains. Anyway, the spinoff is coming out this month, and I cannot wait to see it.
- Title: Tomie
- Author: Junji Ito
- Genre: Manga, Horror
- Pages: 752
- Publisher: VIZ Media
- Published: 2016
I am not a horror reader. So picking this up for a read is out of character for me. What made me interested in it? My roommate and I went to a Japanese bookstore a while back and she bought this tome. She read it and liked it. And I wanted to see what this is all about. As I flipped through the pages of this chunker, I got hooked on the artwork. So I decided to read it.
Tomie was Junji Ito’s first published work which led to him winning a Kazuo Umezu award. This has been serialized in Monthly Halloween and ran from 1987 to 2000. This work has been adapted into film and television series. Let’s just say that this manga was (is) well-loved, gathered a following, and has been praised by fans as well as critics.
The titular character is Tomie Kawakami who acted like a succubus. She has the power to make any man fall in love with her. Of course, the power does not end there. This ability of hers drives men to violence oftentimes leading to her being killed and mutilated. Each body part regenerates to create multiple versions of Tomie across Japan. I mean, interesting right?
This manga is pretty graphic. I mean, one of the reasons why I decided to pick it up is the fact that the author did not shy away from the illustrations of violence. This manga definitely delivered some skin-crawling artwork that lives rent-free in my brain. There is a story in this collection that still makes me itchy just thinking about it.
It’s easy to complain about recurring themes in this manga. I mean, how many times can someone read and see Tomie being murdered and mutilated by the men who fall in love with her. However, Tomie showed a level of toxicity when someone is manipulative and narcissistic. It showed obsession and the desire to possess remarkably well. And jealousy too. These themes heavily reflected society – manipulation, humiliation, misogyny, violence, and sexism.
Bottom line, I liked this manga. It was a good read for sure. Some stories were better than the others of course. My favorite stories were Tomie (the first one, we got introduced to Tomie) and Hair (which involved two girls using Tomie’s hair to make themselves “beautiful”). If I could redo my first read of this collection, I wouldn’t have read the stories back to back. I personally think that the reader was not meant to read this back to back to begin with. However, that didn’t really minimize my reading experience. Just the symbolism found in this manga kept me reading. It almost made me want to read all of Junji Ito’s works (almost, I have not committed myself to them yet).
I had a pretty successful reading month. It helped that I really didn’t want to do anything else. I also knew that the quantity and material that I read on a monthly basis were not up to par with other readers out there. And that was okay.
I used to be jealous of people who could sit and read all day – reading three or more books a week. It took me a while to actually accept that I probably won’t be able to do that. People are different – reading speed, jobs, free time. There were a lot of factors to consider. And it took a while for me to stop comparing myself to other readers. I even stopped making “read xx amount of books” as a yearly goal for me. I just don’t see myself reading 100+ books a year.
Anyway, I read 8 things in August – 1 manhwa, 1 memoir, and 6 novels. 81 episodes and 1749 total pages. 1 webtoon, 1 physical book, 6 eBooks. For how I am, this was a decent reading month. Trust me, it would be lucky if I finish 3 books in a month. So this much reading was good.
Secondo Piatto (manhwa, webtoon). It was decent. I had fun with this BL webtoon about a chef and a detective. The chef’s restaurant was located in an area where the mafia was very interested in. Some action ensued. The chef and the detective were both in love with their best friends who happened to get married. And they were stuck in this loneliness of losing both the love of their lives. And you guessed it, they turned to each other for comfort. It was okay. I enjoyed it for the most part so I cannot really complain. I’ve read better manhwas for sure. But for what it was, the story was cute.
Hi, Anxiety (memoir, physical book). I already have a separate post about this one. I picked it because I felt like I was drowning in depression and anxiety, so I wanted to read about how someone was able to live with something like this. Check the post here.
Adrenaline Rush, Omega’s Kiss, Father Figure, and Together Again (novels, eBooks). These are books 2 to 5 of a five-novel series called Never Too Late. It’s an omegaverse series set in Boston. The characters included detectives (the alphas) in the Cold Case division and their respective omegas. Not going to elaborate too much. I am still thinking if I want to create separate posts for this specific genre. If you enjoy the alpha-omega dynamic, this series as a whole is decent. I enjoyed the books for the most part.
Rogue Wolf, and Alpha’s Shadow (novels, eBooks). These are books 1 and 2 of a ten-novel series called Haven City. This is an urban fantasy M/M romance series involving the shadow world of Haven City. We have shifters, sorcerers, elves, seers, healers…You name it, this series would most likely have it. Books 1 and 2 mainly focused on detectives Sharp and Alwen, who incidentally are both members of the shadow world – Sharp, a wolf shifter, and Alwen, a half-elf seer. Again, I am not going to elaborate. As I said, I am not sure if I want to create a separate post for this genre. The first two books were fun. I enjoyed the action, the mystery, and the “mate” trope.
For the most part, I am reading for enjoyment. Aside from reading classics and nonfiction, a lot of the books that I chose to read are mostly for my escapism. And this month was no different. Aside from the memoir, these books were chosen for my entertainment and distraction. I am not sure what September will look like. I have plans on going back to a schedule this month so we shall see how that would affect my reading.
- Anime Title: Toilet-bound Hanako-kun
- Episodes: Season 1 – 12 episodes
- Where to Watch: Crunchyroll and Hulu
- Publisher: TBS
My man actually found this. If I recall correctly, he watched a couple of episodes while he was at work one night and decided to suggest for us to watch. And I’m glad he did. We enjoyed this one a lot. And we actually wished there was a second season made.
This anime was set in a school, Kamome Academy, famous for its rumored Seven Wonders and supernatural events. Here we met Nene Yashiro, a first-year high school student obsessed with having a boyfriend. Because of this romance obsession, she summoned the Seventh and most famous of the wonders, Hanako, in hopes that the spirit would grant her a wish regarding her love life. And the adventure began.
There were a couple of characters that I loved of course. Hanako and Kou Minamoto. Hanako was a given. I knew I would enjoy his character off the bat. He was characterized as childish and mischievous. However, that was a mask of how serious the character was. And that was without the character’s background. His main duty was to monitor all supernatural activities in the school and ensure that there was a balance between the supernatural and humans. And he took this duty seriously. Honestly, he was just so fun to watch with his playful character and his weapon of choice – a kitchen knife. He was very secretive about his past life, with reason. And the more we got to know about him, the more I found him so endearing.
Now, Kou Minamoto has the most character development in this. He came from a clan of powerful exorcists and believed that all supernatural beings were evil. And we got introduced to him when he tried to exorcise Hanako. But as he continued to tag along with the Hanako-Nene duo, he realized that not all supernatural beings were evil. We saw him questioning his upbringing and beliefs, especially when he encountered a spirit that he genuinely cared for. He has some heartbreaking scenes that made me cry. The way his character developed through the whole first season was so beautiful to watch.
Not going to lie, I was not a fan of Nene whatsoever. Not that I hate her. I just did not like her boy-obsessed character. But then I guess, some girls do focus on romance and having a boyfriend in their high school years. I mean, I would be hypocritical to say that I did not have a crush on someone back at that age however, I did not actively search for romance either. This girl decided to summon a spirit that could grant her a wish – to have her crush return her feelings. I thought that was a pretty extreme obsession, especially after realizing the consequences of her actions. Sure, she mellowed a bit but I still did not care for her as the anime went on. However, I did enjoy her interactions with Hanako and Kou. And I think their relationship naturally progressed to an actual friendship and genuine caring for each other.
Anyway, the artwork was amazing in this anime. Honestly, when my man sent me the link to the anime, the first I thought was, is he going to make me watch a Lolita anime? What is this? And that was not the case. That was just the art style of the anime/manga. And I loved it. We loved the bold black lines for sure. This anime was just fun and I loved the story. A season two was announced and it should be out mid-2024 or end-2024. It would be a while but we would be patiently waiting.
Okay, I’m not technically starting over my life from scratch. Just my career. At my age, it’s not really ideal to start over anything. I should be in a more stable stage in my life. But of course, I am not there yet. And it took a while before I even realized what I really wanted to do with my life.
I envied people who knew what they wanted to be and what they wanted to do at such an early age. Because I was never that person. For the most part, I was coasting through life. I never had such an intense passion for something. Sure, I debated some career avenues mainly in healthcare. But a few years ago, I realized that I didn’t want to be wearing a lab coat anymore. When I was a kid, I always wanted to wear business clothes and have my own office. I cannot tell you why I never pursued that. Oh yeah, parents and their nonstop hounding of healthcare is the way-to-go kind of thing.
I entered my unemployed era at the end of Q1 this year. And I have been stuck with job hunting. I could pretend and say that I have been cool as a cucumber after being laid off. But no. Far from it really. I had days when anxiety and desperation got the best of me. I mean, can you blame me? I have no idea how long I could afford not to have a job. So far, I’ve done well.
Don’t get me wrong, I have been applying to roles. But it’s a bit tougher than I anticipated. And with this whole career transition thing, it’s a bit more difficult to even get an interview. Boy, the competition is fierce. I know that it might be easier if I apply to roles that are more lab-related, I mean that makes sense. But honestly, I don’t want to be stuck again. There’s a reason why I gained skills that could take me out of that environment. Also, a lot of lab-related roles right now, I’m overqualified for. Or lab roles that need some extra certifications, which I am not interested in getting. Because again, I want to get out of that field. If I am getting extra certifications, it will be for roles that will get me out of the lab. And yes, I am working on some. Well, I need to get back to studying and reviewing. I have been neglecting that for a bit.
It just sucks starting on a clean slate. As I said, I should be stable now. But of course not. And I need to be okay with that. Again, I was never one of those people who knew what they wanted to do when I was younger. And that is okay. It’s okay that I found what I like to do this late in the game. Now, it really is just a matter of pursuing it at this point. I feel like I procrastinated enough all my life already.