Well, it has been six days since I posted! Why? Why? I have not been well. Let’s just say that I was lost in my head and was having issues putting together coherent words. Yeah, let’s go with that.

Nothing much going on really. I’ve just been super busy with work last week – dealing CAP inspection, meetings, the huge launch coming up, and handling everything while being short-staffed. Was I struggling? Yes. So my brain just didn’t want to function when I get home. 

A coworker that I started this department with left the company and his last day was yesterday – Friday. I was pretty emotional. I did allow myself to cry for a few minutes in my office. But that was it. I do not allow myself to cry a lot of times, because if I fall apart, the rest will fall apart. I do not want that. On top of that, I was nursing a very bad headache as well. So, that was not fun.

I also had a rough night. I was not sure what triggered it but my anxiety was in full swing last night. I just could not sleep. All I know was that everything was annoying me. I felt like I was suffocating. The weather is on the colder side now, so covering up is a must. My body did not want to bundle up. I had to change to a tank top and a pair of shorts in lieu of my lounge pants and long sleeves because I felt constricted wearing them. With that barely anything attire, I had to be under the covers, which again my body rejected. The skin of my inner thighs was touching each other so I could not sleep on my side. I was annoyed with my pillows because it was touching my skin, and yes, the same with the blanket. It was constricting me and it was touching my skin. I was annoyed at my dog since he was cuddled next to me. It was a struggle.

My hun talking to me last night helped and I was able to sleep after that. I think talking to him took me out of my head, and pretty much distracted me enough that my body can succumb to sleep. I was grateful for that.

Today was a little better. But my allergies were pretty bad. My throat was itchy pretty much the whole day and I had rashes on my arms and legs. It could be stress rashes. Right now, the sliding door to the apartment is open, because I started feeling anxious again. Yeah, that is what’s been going on. The only thing that has not stopped regardless of me feeling like a mess is me reading BL webtoons and waiting for new episodes to get released everyday.